This is the real story of Good Friday according to Saint Jude the Apostle, also known as, Thomas Judeas the Apostle. It was Thursday night, just after Jesus of Nazareth and the Apostle's had celebrated Passover and the Eucharist. Jesus and the Apostles, with the exception of Judas Iscariot, went to the Mount of Olives to pray. After awhile Jesus came down the hill where he was praying and woke up the Apostles who had dozed off. Jesus and his friends, the Apostles, started walking down the rest of the hill when Judas Iscariot, The Traitor, approached Jesus with about 150 Temple Guards and 100 Roman Guards. Judas Iscariot kissed Jesus on the cheek, and then the Temple Guards and Roman Guards tried to illegally sieze Jesus, but instead, Simon Peter drew sword, as did the other Apostles. Simon Peter cut off the ear of the first Guard with a sword thrust. Then, Thomas Judeas the Apostles ran through the Officers with his rapier, in turn. Then, Jesus, raised his Staff, and suddenly, lightning came from the clear sky, and blasted the rest of the Guards into oblivion, killing all of them. Then, Jesus and the Apostles went to the Roman Barracks of the Praetorian Guards, Thomas Judeas showed the Officer of the Guard his Signet Ring, which was that of his Father, Caesar Augustus, (the Tao Sign) and then Jesus showed his Father's (Caesar Josephus, Seneschal of Rome) Signet Ring (the Holy Cross Sign), and then the Commander of the Praetorian Guards came to speak with them. The Apostle, Thomas Judeas, said, "In the name of Caesar, I need 1,500 of your best Praetorians to arrest the traitors, Caiphas the High Priest, King Herod, Judas Iscariot, and Pontius Pilate, for violating the Law of Rome, namely, Sheriff's Law, the Law of Logic, by committing gross and malicious acts of Sophistry. The Commander of the Praetorians summoned 1,500 of his best men, and then with Jesus and the Apostle's in the lead, they fought through and killed most of the Jewish and Roman Guards, and then arrested Caiphas the High Priest, King Herod, Judas Iscariot, and Pontius Pilate, and then took them to Golgotha, and crucified them in turn. By morning the four traitors, Caiphas, King Herod, Judas Iscariot, and Pontius Pilate were all dead. When the crowd began to show up around 9:00 a.m., the next morning, they were only allowed to come no closer than one half mile, and, after they saw the four men crucified on the crucifixes, they were told that Jesus and the Apostles and the Praetorians had crucified the traitors, Caiphas the High Priest, King Herod, Judas Iscariot, and Pontius Pilate, in the Name of Caesar and Roman Law, that is Sheriff's Law for committing the crime of Sophistry. Then, Jesus, the Apostles and the Praetorians all went up to Antioch, in Galillee to rest and the celebrate. However, two days later, Mary Magnalene brought a message to them that the Pharisees and the Sanhedrin had spread the rumor that Jesus, and Joseph, and Mary, and Thomas Judeas, had all been crucified for asserting that they were not bound by the Law of Abraham. Mary left, accompanied by Thomas Judeas, the Apostle. They discovered that the disciples had been duped by the false story of the Pharisees. The next day, Thomas and the disciples, were sitting in a tavern in Emmaus, when Mary ran in. Mary said, "The tomb is empty, Jesus has Risen from the Dead." Thomas Judeas said, "I do not believe it. I will not believe it until until I have placed my fingers in the nail marks in the hands and feet of Jesus." Thomas and the disciples went back to drinking their beer. An hour later, a man resembling Jesus walked in the front door of the tavern. At this point, Thomas was down the road wooing his girl friend. Jesus said, "Do you not recognize me? It is I, Jesus of Nazareth who has Risen from the Dead." The disciples all hugged Jesus and Jesus ate a beef sandwich and drank a beer and then left. Jesus said, "I will be back in one hour, fetch my brother Thomas Judeas so that I may show him that I have Risen from the Dead. The Disciples hauled Thomas out bed where he was making love to his girlfriend, and took him to the tavern. Ten minutes later, Jesus once again walked into the Tavern. "Well, Thomas, do you now see that I have Risen from the Dead? So that you may not have future doubts, please feel the nail marks in my hands and feet (as Jesus gave Thomas a subtle wink). "Yes, Lord, my brother, I can indeed feel the nail marks and I indeed can taste the blood of the wounds." said Tomas Judeas. Jesus then said, "Thomas has choses the path of experience and logic, and that is indeed good, however, also blessed are those who find God without having to refer to sense experience. "And Thomas, for my part I declare that you are Seneschal of Heaven, Purgatory, Hell, Earth, Solar System, Galaxy, and Universe in my stead, and furthermore I declare that you will walk the Earth until my return, and finally, I declare that you are a Winner who never loses." Then Jesus said, "By the way, cousin, Thomas, here is the lock blade knife that I bought the other day. I seem to have cut myself a little bit with the knife, so I apologize if there is some of my blood on it." said Jesus. And then, Jesus raised his cloak over his head and body and disappeared.
(C)Perpetual Copyright by Anthony J. Fejfar, Anthony J. Faber, and Neothomism, P.C. (PA)
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